To Live Defeated Is to Die Every Day!

A personal birthday reflection on mindset, mortality, and making every year count

It’s my birthday today, and I am thankful to God for yet another anniversary. It can only be Him and all glory returns to Him.

But here’s what’s different about this birthday: I’m not just grateful to be alive. I’m questioning what it actually means to live. However, this quote got me thinking about life differently, especially today.

Death is nothing, but to live defeated is to die every day

- Napoleon Bonaparte, 1769-1821

I am not even going to try to make sense of the quote as a whole because it is deep like a wisdom’s sage. Napoleon was a military genius and the quote carries the weight of someone who understood high stakes.

I want to reflect on the second clause of the quote that simplifies the significance of being defeated in life. It ties back to the idea of what I wrote in my earlier piece about having a free mindset all the time. Because here is the thing, before you start living defeated, you must have conceded defeat in your mind first, consequently manifesting it into existence.

This got me thinking about what it actually takes to not live defeated. And I have made it a point of duty (intentionally) daily to work on my mindset, thus answering these fundamental questions.

• What are you feeding your mind?

• How do you exercise your mind?

• How do you measure your growth?

The first real question: What do you feed your mind?

Do you feed it garbage - doomscrolling, unimportant news, excessive social media, gossip and a ton of irrelevant noise? Or do you nourish it with what actually matters - conversations, content and challenges that draw you closer to your life’s mission.

I am in reflection mode today, so bear with me with the questions. Lol

But Real talk! Assess your situation. What did you consume yesterday? If your mind is a garden, are you planting seeds or dumping rubbish?

The second fundamental question: How do you exercise your mind?

I’ll provide a brief way I have been approaching this one. There it goes:

I pray and meditate every day. I try to write every day. I set mental and physical cues to remind me about my daily goals - sticky notes, alarms, environmental triggers just like James Clear advocated in his Atomic Habits. And lately, the game changer: I discovered a concept in Robert Greene’s 33 Strategies of War called psychological death ground situation to force urgency on me not to waste time in a way that puts me in a high-stakes situation. That concept is an ancient military concept where as a general, your army’s back is against the wall, and you fight with everything you have, or lose everything. While adapting the concept, it forces me to show up because the cost of not showing is often so high.

These all happen in my mind. And Boy Oh boy! It was really toilsome at first. But I have been getting a good hang of it lately, especially after adding the last bit of creating urgency, thereby drawing the line on the luxury of procrastination.

I am certain my ways might seem different or even novel to you, but then the most important thing is to find a means to exercise your mind. Even if it’s only one daily activity so as to make your mind flexible and robust. You just have to do something that strengthens it.

You will thank yourself later.

The last question: How do you measure your growth?

Here, most people, including me at some point, will assume that once you’re able to feed your mind the right nutrients and exercise your mind rightly, growth happens. It’s only natural that happens. But if you’re not measuring it, you won’t know whether you’re actually growing or just wasting time.

My theory: Examine your life through these lenses - your mission, worldview, weakness, thought process, insecurities, and your daily conversations. Answering these questions about these and personalising them ultimately tells you the level of your growth.

An example to make this relatable:

A while ago, I could get a lot defensive and reactive with my conversations and ideas. Someone would say something and I’d usually respond defensively or try to prove I was right. Now, I see myself listening more. And I’m less interested in being right and more interested in understanding by being patient and empathetic. Personally, the shift didn’t happen by accident. I have been intentionally working on my mind.

My worldview has also shifted. I hardly watch TV these days, except for maybe fascinating and important sporting events, such as watching my favourite teams or players. Also, I used to think that I couldn’t finish reading a fictional book or even remember what I read when I read a non-fiction book. Now, I can reread a book as much as I need to, take notes or even try to articulate my thoughts properly, like I am doing with this write-up. To me, that’s growth I can measure.

What about you? What has changed about you? What demon have you confronted in your life? What parts of your mission have you sharpened?

This is my framework and rightly so, about what I think.

You can do with them what you will. But if you’re serious about not living defeated, you need a way to track where you are right now.

But hang on!

Why Do All this?

Another fundamental question.

Why would one do all this - feed the mind right, exercise it, measure growth and still live defeated?

No way that happens! That’s the point.

The crux of the matter is to continue finding joy in the practice and committing to being intentional daily towards fixing your mind and putting your mission over everything else.

Personally, I enjoy putting in the work daily. Some days, I don’t put in the required effort and some days, I don’t get the desired result. But ultimately, I still feel content regardless because I know I’m in the fight. And I will always try to go again. That is why I strive to stay thankful as much as I can every day, trying to enjoy life.

Lastly, as I reflect on this birthday, the sad truth remains: I am getting closer to my death. Every birthday is a countdown, not a celebration of distance travelled but a reminder of distance remaining. It would mean nothing if I don’t live every day like it’s my last by staying present at all times.

Cheers to the year ahead! And here’s what I’m committing to this year: I will not live defeated. I will feed my mind deliberately. I will exercise it intensely. I will measure my growth honestly. And when I fail (because I will), I’ll pick myself up and go again.

I hope this reflection makes you think differently about your life.

Thanks for reading.

See you on the next one,

Somtoo